Relationship Suicide
by LoZa
Summary: A Jim & Pam story set early in Season 2. "Because If I get hold of you, even just for one night, I'm likely not to ever want to let you go again...” Please note this story is based around darker themes.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N. This story is set in Season 2... right after the Dundies. This isn't my first story, but it is my first fiction using The Office. I've really gotten into the show lately (as in watched season 1-3 in a day or two) so yeah this story sort of came to me after having a bit of an Office marathon. _

_The story will begin to refer to darker themes in later chapters, so if your not really into that then this is your warning! It is quite a heavy story._

_Please read and review if you've got the time...I would really love to know what you think of it. Thanks!  
_

_As always I do not own The Office or any of it's characters...I own nothing... =P _

_~ Loz_

* * *

**Relationship Suicide**

_**Chapter 1**_

Jim could tell that something was up with her before she had even uttered a word to him. If she was trying to hide it, she wasn't doing a particularly good job, because it was written all over her face. The concern in her eyes and the worry lines etched into her forehead. Not to mention the fact that she was going out of her way not to look at him. He had been trying to get her attention all morning, and seemed to be failing miserably. By lunchtime, he had finally got up the nerve to go over to where she sat miserably at reception.

"Hey" he said quietly, leaning on the counter in front of her desk.

"Hey yourself" she said back, not taking her eyes off the computer screen to look at him.

"Having a busy day?"

"Same as usual"

Jim sighed, biting his lip as he struggled to think of what to say next. He never usually had this problem...their banter was always free-flowing.

"Um...are you having your lunch break soon?" he asked.

She nodded, turning to face him slightly.

"Do you want to go out..." He smiled, not fully realising what he had said until he saw the tiny smirk on her face. "... Out for lunch I mean. You know, like out of the office. As in, not eating in the break room." he stuttered, the panic evident in his face.

"Its ok, I knew what you meant." she said grinning.

He grinned back. Sure she tortured him sometimes, but when she was smiling like that... smiling at _him_ like that, he really didn't care.

"Ok, lunch in half an hour Beasley..."

She nodded, smiling at him as he walked back to his desk to finish off a few things before they left.

**

"Where do you feel like going for lunch?" he asked as he guided her out of the office and into the car park.

"I don't mind. Our usual place?" she said, opening the door and sliding into his car.

He nodded, hardly able to contain himself. He loved the way that had sounded coming out of her mouth.

_Our usual place. _His whole body had tingled as she said it. The words sounded so comfortable coming out of her mouth. _Our usual place_. If a stranger was listening they would have easily mistaken them as a couple; Two people who knew everything about each other, who could make each other smile, who could make each other happy. He felt a pang of sadness in his heart as he remembered that he wasn't actually in a relationship with her.

They drove in a comfortable silence to the restaurant. He pulled up in the parking lot, briefly smiling at her as they walked to the entrance. He opened the door for her, pulled out her chair for her, let her order her lunch first. Pam sighed. She knew Jim wasn't trying to impress her or anything...he was naturally a caring guy. A polite guy. A great guy. An amazing guy...

She could feel his eyes on her, looking at her intently. She knew what he was doing; why he had taken her out to lunch in the first place. He knew something was up, and he knew she wouldn't want to talk about it at the office. She was never able to hide from him. He had always known how to read her like a open book. He cleared his throat, and she looked up at him for a brief second.

"Are you alright Pam? You've been kind of quiet today?"

She sighed, drumming her fingers nervously on the table.

"I knew there was a reason why you wanted to go out for lunch..." she said with a grin, avoiding his question altogether.

She was out of luck this time...Jim was insistent.

"Come on Pam. I'm your best friend, I can tell when your upset about something." he said, trying to push her into confiding in him.

"It's nothing really...Roy and I had a bit of a fight last night, that's all. I'm sure you don't really want to hear the excruciating details."

He paused, watching as her shoulders slumped a little, and she stared intently at something on the table in front of them. She was right, he didn't want to hear about her latest fight with Roy. He couldn't care less about Roy. Roy had a beautiful, talented, sexy fiancee that he just never seemed to pay any attention to. He had no idea how lucky he had it...

He knew he would kick himself later if he didn't ask her about the fight they had. Besides, he was her best friend. Those were the kind of things best friends were supposed to talk about, no matter how uncomfortable he was going to feel.

He shrugged his shoulders slightly, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest.

"Try me Beasley..." he said smiling.

She smiled back for a second, before returning her gaze back to the table.

"Uh... well Roy kind of lost it at me last night."

Jim felt his body tense as he listened to her. He dug his now clenched fists deeper into his body.

"About what? Did he hurt you?" his questions came out more urgently than he had wanted them to.

She shook her head, looking up at him to meet his eyes. "No, nothing like that Jim" she said firmly, seeing how worried he had suddenly become.

She looked at him some more, unsure whether or not to tell him the real reason why her and Roy had been up till 3am yelling at each other.

And then he smiled, reaching out for her. She let his fingers stroke her hand gently, and she immediately felt calm. She had no idea how he did that to her.

"Well, after the Dundies on Friday night Roy was already ticked off at me. I guess he didn't get why I would want to go to one of Michael's stupid events if there were no free drinks involved."

Jim laughed, a grin immediately spreading across his face.

"Yeah, we all saw that paying for drinks really doesn't bother you Pam..." he said jokingly, remembering just how drunk she had been on Friday night. "Actually come to think of it...I think you probably _stole_ most of your drinks from other people anyway..."

"Hmm...not my finest hours I have to admit." she said her cheeks warm with embarrassment.

"Ok, so Roy was already annoyed that you didn't leave when he wanted to..."

"Yeah. He wanted me to ditch my co-workers, and my friends to go drinking with him and a bunch of guys that still, after 6 or so years, do not my name."

Jim's body went back to being tense. God if he was with Pam...he would want to spend every minute of every day with her.

"When I got home after the Dundies, he wasn't back yet. So I took some aspirin, and went to bed. He was pissed at me all day Saturday, so he went out with his brother and didn't come home till Sunday. When he did eventually come home, he just lost it. He just started screaming at me, and then he started throwing things." she choked out, a tear escaping down her cheek.

She felt his hand grip tighter around her own. He felt his blood pumping through his veins.

"And all of this was because you didn't leave with him on Friday?" he asked, the anger evident in his tone.

"Yes and no..."

He gave her a look that made her heart skip a beat. He nodded his head for her to go on with the story.

"Roy saw Darryl on Sunday. And Darryl told him what he heard from someone that knew someone that was at the Dundies."

Jim lifted his hand in the air, a puzzled look on his face.

"Ok... and he was mad at you because..."

Pam took a deep breath and removed her hand from his.

"He heard that I kissed you Jim."

Jim stared at her in shock, unsure if what he heard her say was actually coming out of her mouth. He knew it shouldn't be like this, but it was hard to ignore the guilty pleasure he was feeling right now.

"Oh, well... did you tell him how drunk you were? I'm surprised you even remember doing that..." he said lightly, trying to make a joke out of the awkward situation they were in.

"I remember it." she said, staring straight into his eyes.

He gulped back the lump forming in his throat. He hadn't forgotten about the kiss either. Even though it was brief, he couldn't get the image out of his head all weekend, He could still taste the way her lips left his burning with desire. He wished she wasn't being so intense right now. It was taking every bit of strength he had not to lean across the table and kiss her for real this time. When they were _both_ sober...

"I just want you to know that this was in no way your fault Jim." she began, stumbling on her words a bit. "It was my mistake. I did something I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry."

His heart pounded in his chest as he gave her a soft smile. How could she think she even needed to apologize to him. Sadly enough, that 2 second kiss was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time. For her to think that he needed an apology was crazy.

Before he could answer, their lunch was brought out and they were given a distraction.

They spent the rest of their lunch, once again in comfortable silence.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

The next day was similar to the last. He hated seeing Pam like this. She was so quiet, so lost in her own thoughts. He just hated seeing her_ struggling_ like this. He watched her as she answered call after call with no effort whatsoever. As she walked slowly into Michael's office, slowly to the break room, slowly back to her desk. It was pure torture for him.

He walked up to her desk, ready to launch into a full-blown explanation of the prank he was about to pull on Dwight, when she looked up at him and spoke before he had the chance.

"Sorry Jim, I'm uh just about to head out." she muttered, switching off her computer. She spun around, grabbing her bag off the floor.

"Did you need something?" she asked when she noticed he was still standing there.

"Oh no, I was just...uh... Is everything ok?"

She nodded her head, shrugging on her coat.

"Your leaving early?" he asked finally, looking at his watch. It wasn't even lunchtime yet.

"Yeah. I'm not feeling well. Michael said I can go home."

"Oh, well I hope you feel better." he said, rubbing her arm softly.

She quickly stepped out of his reach and headed for the door.

"Thanks...um I'll see ya...". And with that she was gone.

**

Jim sighed loudly as he flopped onto the couch with a bowl of noodles he had whipped up for dinner. He switched on the TV, hoping for a much-needed distraction. He had spent all afternoon thinking about her, wondering if she was ok...missing her like crazy.

He switched channels, finding a basketball game that just might be interesting enough to stop his brain from working overtime. The game seemed to do the trick. Soon he was yelling at the ref, cheering when someone dunked, and completely immersed in the game. He got up at half time, putting his empty bowl in the sink and grabbing another beer from the fridge.

Just as he was about to sit down again, there was a knock on his front door. He looked at his watch and put his beer on the table. It was nearly 10pm. The only person who usually came over this late was his roommate Mark's girlfriend; and they were on holidays at the moment. He turned on the outside light, and opened the door quickly.

He was stunned. He didn't know what to say.

"Pam...what are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry its late. I just... I needed to see you..." she said, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

He nodded, stepping aside and ushering her in. He shut the door behind them, motioning for her to sit on the couch. He nervously sat down beside her.

"Are you alright?" he asked, studying her intensley.

She turned to look at him, seeing the concern in her eyes and feeling her heart melt a little bit.

"I don't know what I'm doing here." she said truthfully. "I don't know what I'm doing in general."

"Well..." he paused, unsure what to say. "...I'm here for you. If you want to talk, or whatever."

"I need to tell you something Jim."

"Ok..." he breathed.

"I don't know how to say this... It's really hard."

He entwined his fingers with hers, squeezing her hand tightly. Her breathing picked up rapidly. Holding his hand was not helping the situation. She cleared her throat, trying not to think about just how perfect their hands looked together. She needed to get this out... she couldn't talk about this with Roy, but she knew that Jim would listen to her, no matter what.

"Jim... lately I've been noticing these feelings."

"What kind of feelings?" he asked quickly, his hand gripping on to hers a little bit tighter.

"Feelings for you."

There was silence between them. Jim thought he may have misheard her at first, but his heart fluttered as she continued.

"I'm sorry if this sounds crazy, or if I'm misinterpreting things, but lately I go home at night, and all I can think about is you. I think about stupid things, like what your eating for dinner, what your watching on TV, what time you fall asleep... I just feel like we have a connection or something, and its completely insane I know... because I'm the one who's getting married to somebody else..."

As she's rambling, he brings his hand to her face to wipe away a stray tear.

"It's not crazy at all Pam."

She looks at his warm eyes, trying to hold back her tears. She can feel the tingle on her skin as he grazes his fingers across her cheek.

"I can't do this anymore... I can't just ignore this..." she says softly.

"What do you..."

He is cut off by her pressing her lips against his softly. She pushes her body against his, getting closer to him.

So many thoughts cross through Jim's mind that he is unable to process them all at once. He shouldn't be doing this. She is with someone else. She's just upset and vulnerable. She's going to hate him if he doesn't put a stop to it.

But then he feels her climb on top of him, legs either side of his lap, her tongue finding its way gently into his mouth...

And suddenly all his willpower is lost.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N. Ok so this chapter is where the mature themes come in to play! The darker themes also begin in this chapter, so please be wary if these kinds of stories aren't your thing... _

_Please let me know what you think!_

_~ Loz_

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_**Chapter 3**_

He finds it hard to believe that this is actually happening. He was kissing Pam Beasley. She was kissing him. He was making out with the girl who he had wanted for so long, and he had no idea that it would be this unbelievable. That she would be this amazing...

He feels her tug on his sleeve lightly. He slowly moves his lips from hers and looks into her shining eyes.

"Lets go upstairs." she whispers in his ear, beginning to leave a trail of kisses down his neck.

"Are you sure? I don't want to rush things..." he said, his voice shaking as she moves her kisses down to his chest.

She looks into his sweet and caring eyes and nods her head.

"I'm sure Jim."

He takes her hand and leads her upstairs to his bedroom. He shuts the door behind them, turning back to see her sitting on his bed. He had imagined scenes like this so many times... but he never thought they might actually become a reality. He didn't want to pinch himself in case he woke up and realized that this had actually been a dream. He sat down next to her, placing a hand on her thigh.

"I like your room. It's cute. " she says with a smile.

"Oh its cute? Really, that's the only word of choice here?...um...Thanks I guess." he smiles back at her. "Your sure about this?"

"I am. I know you just want to check that I'm not going to regret this later, but I've been going over and over this in my head all day. This is my choice. My decision. You don't have to feel bad, or like your making me do something. This has all come from me. I mean I came on to you right?" she laughed nervously. She was beginning to worry that he was having second thoughts.

"Its not that. I don't want you to just take responsibility. I want you to be sure..." he paused, taking a deep breath. He knew he had to tell her how he felt, so she knew he wasn't after just a casual thing. Or even worse; a one night stand.

"...Because I really, really want to be with you Pam. I know you said you've been having these feelings lately, but the truth is I've been having these feelings since the first day I met you. And I've been sitting on the sidelines all this time, hoping that one day our friendship and laughs would turn into something more. I was hoping that all our banter and all the flirting would eventually mean something to you."

"Of course it does...it all means so much to me..." she said softly.

"I just... I have serious feelings for you Pam. And I guess I'm a little bit scared of being hurt by this. I just want to make sure that you know what your doing. That you know what your getting yourself into here. And I mean, you are still with someone else, with him, right?" He paused, staring at her, waiting eagerly for her response.

She turned her gaze away from him, nodding her head slowly. She heard him sigh loudly, and she watched him run his hand over his forehead, like he suddenly had a severe headache.

"If you don't want to do this it's fine Jim. I understand...I mean, I've jumped into this and kind of made you jump in with me. I am still with someone else, and if that's weird or too much for you that is completely fine. If you would prefer to wait till I sorted things out I get that..." her voice trailed off as she felt his hand trace higher up her thigh.

"I want to do this Pam, I've wanted to do this from the beginning. I can't wait any longer. I just wanted you to be sure, Because If I get hold of you...even just for one night...I'm likely not to ever want to let you go again..." his voice cracked slightly as he poured his heart out to her.

She felt her eyes water as she saw the intensity of his face. She knew what she wanted and what he wanted weren't all that different.

"I want you Jim" she whispered.

She saw him smile, then felt his lips crash against hers passionately. He laid on top of her, and she quickly pulled his t-shirt over his head. She ran her hands over his firm arms and chiselled chest. She had imagined what he would look like with no shirt on, but never in her wildest dreams had she thought that he would be as sexy as this. She felt him smile against her as he kissed her neck and began unbuttoning her shirt. He pushed it off her shoulders, taking in her beautiful skin and perfectly flat stomach.

"God your amazing" he muttered, tracing his hands over her hips and reaching behind her to unhook her bra. It fell off her shoulders, and he could see the look of uncertainty creep across her face. He felt her body tense slightly as he stared at her. He moved his face close to hers and kissed her lips softly.

"Your even more beautiful than I imagined..." he whispered.

**

When Jim woke up the next morning, he smiled as he realized she was still lying next to him. She had her back to him, but her legs were entangled with his. He pulled her closer to him, loving the feeling of her back against his chest. He kissed her neck and hugged her close.

_This is too good to be true. She is probably going to wake up and freak out_. But he didn't care. This was the happiest he had been in a long time. He couldn't remember a time he felt close to this happy. She stirred slightly, and rolled over to face him.

"Good Morning..." she said sleepily.

"Morning..." he said, his voice low and husky. "Did you sleep ok?"

She nodded, pulling her arms up from underneath her and touching his chest. "I haven't slept that well in... I don't even know how long."

"Me too.." he said, smiling at her.

She put a hand behind his neck, pulling him down to her lips. They kissed softly, and his heart started beating so fast he was sure she could probably hear it. He pulled back slowly, knowing that if he kept kissing her he wouldn't be able to control himself.

It was then that he noticed something that he hadn't noticed last night when he stripped off her clothes in his dimly lit room.

He stared at her arms for a second, trying to get his brain around what he was seeing. It couldn't be... he was sure he was seeing things. He reached out for her wrist, bringing it closer to him.

"Pam... what the hell are these?" he asked, his voice shaky.

Pam was still half-asleep, lost in his gentle kisses and his warm embrace. She had forgotten about them.

"Its nothing..." she said, pulling her arm back forcefully.

"It's not nothing..."

"Just mind your own business ok?" she snapped back at him. She slid out of his bed, grabbing her jeans off the floor and pulling them on quickly.

"Pam... I'm sorry. It's just... what do you expect me to think here?"

"Nothing. You don't need to think about anything..." She buttoned up her long-sleeved shirt and grabbed her jacket.

He jumped out of bed after her, throwing his own clothes on in record time. He chased her down the stairs and jumped in front of her.

"Please don't go. Talk to me about it. Just... please don't leave like this Pam." his voice was breaking, and she could see the panic in his eyes. He placed his hands on her shoulders, bending his knees so he was looking straight at her.

"I'm sorry Jim." she whispered, dropping her eyes to his feet. She couldn't look at him right now. She would break for sure if she looked into his deep eyes. She could hear his heavy breathing, and she knew that he was debating over what to say next. She stepped out of his arms, reaching behind him for the front door.

"We'll talk later ok. I promise..." she said, before heading out the door, and leaving a shocked and shaken Jim behind her.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N Sorry its been a while since my last update... kinda got a bit stuck with this story, but have gotten back into it over the last few days! Really hoping to keep it going and complete it soon. Thanks heaps to everyone who has reviewed and to all the people who have added this to their favourite story or story alerts. Thanks sooooo much, I'm glad that people are actually enjoying it! Please keep letting me know what you think of it - reviews are what usually keep me going... :P  
_

_Where we last left off - Pam is unhappy, Jim and Pam slept together, Jim noticed something strange on Pam and Pam left in a hurry... :)_

* * *

She was silently cursing all the way home. How could she have been so stupid, so careless? She was pretty sure that had never felt so many emotions at one time before. She was still excited...excited at the prospect of starting a new relationship. She was happy because she felt like she had finally found the person she had been searching for; her soul mate. She felt guilty at the fact that she had just slept with her best friend, and now had to go home and face the man she was engaged to. She felt embarrassed at the way she had used Jim last night because she was having problems with Roy. She felt sad because of way he had just looked at her this morning, his eyes full of concern and worry. She was angry at herself, angry that he had seen the cuts on her wrist and had figured it all out so quickly.

Her little car sped into their driveway, and she quickly put the handbrake on and switched off the ignition. She grabbed her bag, before flipping down her mirror and checking her appearance. She smoothed her hair down and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She walked slowly to the front door, rummaging through her bag for her keys. Just as she found them at the bottom of her purse, the door swung open.

"Pam your back. Where have you been? I've been trying to call you?" Roy said, pulling her into his arms and giving her a quick kiss hello.

Pam felt her body stiffen. Would he be able to tell? Would he know she had been kissing someone else? Would he be able to smell Jim's cologne on her? Jim had a distinctive scent; and she could always tell where he had been in the office, and which jacket was his by his amazing smell.

"I left you a note...I went to my sister's for the night." she said quietly, letting out a small sigh of relief as he let go of her and she made her way inside.

"Oh, I must not have seen it last night..." Roy said, running a hand through his hair.

Pam walked into the kitchen, seeing the dozen empty beer bottles scattered on the bench. She walked over to the fridge, pulling down the A4 sized sheet of paper and shoving it at him.

"I wonder why you didn't see it Roy?" she said tiredly, as she began collecting the empty bottles and putting them in the trash.

"I'm sorry babe... Darryl came over to watch the game, and I guess we got a little carried away."

She stopped cleaning up the bottles and turned to face him.

"So when you came home last night and I wasn't here, and you didn't see my note, you rang my phone and I didn't answer... what exactly did you think had happened to me?" her voice was rising, as the anger, sadness and guilt she was feeling earlier seemed to make it to the surface.

"Um...I don't know..." Roy stuttered, moving closer to her.

"So you weren't concerned in any way? Weren't concerned where I was? Who I was with? What had happened to me? If I was alright?" her voice had now turned into more of a shout.

"I don't know Pam...what are you getting so upset about? I mean, your ok aren't you?" he shouted back, rolling his eyes at her.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. She felt a tear trickle down her cheek.

"No Roy. I'm not ok...."

"I don't get it. I don't get why your so upset..." he said, frowning in confusion.

"I know you don't Roy."

"Pam...come on. What's gotten in to you?"

"I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry." The tears spilled properly from her eyes as she attempted to walk past him.

"What are you saying? Are you calling off our wedding?" Roy asked quickly.

"Our wedding was never really on, and you know that."

"You have to be kidding me right? I saved up for months to buy you that stupid ring..."

She shook her head, unable to believe the things that come out of his mouth sometimes.

"You proposed to me...so what? We both know you had no intention of actually marrying me Roy. We've been engaged for 3 years..."

He pushed some empty bottles together angrily, knocking one off the bench so that it smashed onto the tiled floor below.

"I can't deal with your shit right now Pam."

"Fine. Don't deal with it. Put it off for as long as you possibly can, just like everything else." she struggled with the ring on her finger, trying to get it off as quickly as she could.

"Wait...what are you doing..." he asked shakily.

She finally got her ring loose, pushing it into the palm of his hand.

"You can have your 'stupid ring' back then." she said quietly, wiping her face with her sleeve.

"No, I don't understand..." he stuttered, trying to give her the ring back. She walked past him into their bedroom.

"I love you Pam. I thought that was enough."

"I love you too. I always will. But we have grown apart Roy. Were not the same people we once were."

"I can't believe your springing this on me now. I have wasted so much time with you..."

"You've wasted time with me? How is that possible? I let you do whatever you want. Even when it meant breaking plans with me, when it meant going away _without_ me..."

"Do you know how many boys nights I left early cause I knew I had you at home? How many girls came onto me that I turned down, how many girls I could have slept but didn't because of you..."

She stared back him, her mouth open in shock.

"I can't believe you just said that. After 9 years....I can't believe that is what your worrying about."

Her voice was dripping with pain. She had never felt so stupid or betrayed in her entire life.

He shrugged at her, about to continue with what else he "given up" for all these years when she blurted out something else.

"I slept with someone else. That's where I was last night..."

She watched the anger wash over his face, and suddenly wished that she hadn't felt so mad and told him like this.

"Who was it?" he snarled, moving closer to her.

"You don't know him..." she quickly muttered back.

He shook his head at her, and then began tearing through their closet.

"Roy, what are you doing..."

"Do not say a word to me you little slut..." he said, tuning back to glare at her angrily. She nodded slowly, her feet rooted to the floor. She could'nt move if she wanted to. He finally came up with 2 duffle bags, throwing them down on the bed in front of her.

"You slept with someone else... your the one who can move out. Pack your stuff then get the hell out of here."

She nodded, trying to hold back her sobs. She deserved this. She deserved everything she was getting.

"And don't even think about trying to come crawling back. It's over"

**


	5. Chapter 5

On Monday morning, Pam struggled to get motivated to get ready and actually go into work. After her night with Jim on Friday, she had spent the rest of the weekend dealing with the ramifications of breaking up with Roy. That included finding somewhere to stay, calling her Mom, crying herself to sleep on Saturday and going car shopping on Sunday. Now it was Monday, and she really didn't want to go back to work. She had ignored all of Jim's calls over the weekend, not because she didn't want to talk to him, but more because she knew that if she told him, he would be at her side in a heart beat. And she just wasn't ready for that yet.

She hopped in the shower, fiddling with the taps until she got the water just right. She stood under it for a few seconds, before the water suddenly went ice cold.

"Dammit" she said out loud, cursing the motel room that had been her home over the weekend. She really needed to find a place of her own.

Once she was showered, she put on a grey high waisted shirt, and looked through what she had hung up in the tiny hotel closet. She flicked through, picking out a pale blue shirt and a dark grey vest. She ran a brush through her hair, not getting time to tie it up how she usually did. She grabbed a few chocolate biscuits from the pack she had bought yesterday (chocolate was all she was in the mood for) and rushed out the door. She took the lift downstairs, and walked across the small carpark to her car. She looked at the little black car her Dad had helped her find at the second hand car yard. She had asked if her dad would come down and help her find a new car, as she knew nothing about them. Cars were more Roy's field of expertise. Out of the many they looked at, her Dad thought that this car was the best value for money, and had the least things wrong with it.

She sighed, unlocking the door and hopping in. It felt weird. As though she was driving someone else's car. Actually everything felt weird. Not being with Roy, living in a motel, driving a new car, getting her things out of a duffel bag each morning, being with Jim...

It all felt weird. Like she was living someone else's life, not her own.

**

Jim waited impatiently outside the office building on Monday morning. He greeted Angela, then Oscar, then Phyllis, then Dwight.... but there was no sign of Pam. He had literally been panicking all weekend over her. He had called her cell at least a dozen times, but she never answered it. By the 9th or 10th call he got the phone lady saying "this phone has been switched off, or is unavailable". He had thought about trying her at home, but he knew that probably wasn't a good idea.

His trance was broken as Kevin said hello to him, and Roy's truck came flying into the parking lot. His heart skipped a beat as he realized that Roy was alone. He took a step backwards, so he was hidden behind the wall as Roy got out and slammed the door behind him. He waited until he had rounded the corner and entered the warehouse before standing back in his original spot. It wasn't that he was hiding from Roy, he just didn't trust himself not to say something completely stupid that would probably end with him getting his head beaten in.

Jim had literally had the best night of his life on Friday. No other night came close. He had been waiting so long for Pam to finally acknowledge her feelings for him. He had fantasized about her coming over to his place and telling him she wanted him so many times...he just never really thought it would actually happen.

He had been replaying what had happenned non-stop the last few days. He could not get the image of her lying naked on top of him out of his brain. The way her hips felt under his hands, the way her hair fell slightly over her shoulders, the way she traced her fingers down his chest, the way her breasts bounced slightly as she moved on top of him, the moan that escaped her lips when she came, the cheeky smile on her face as she realized she had made him come as well.

God it was amazing. He had never had a experience quite like it.

"Shit" he mumbled under his breath, as he realized what he had done to himself by thinking about her. He should have known better than to think of her like that... so far every time he had he had given himself a hard on. He scanned the car park making sure no one was around before adjusting himself through his pants. He sighed, knowing there was still a noticeable bulge. It was then that he saw a small black car enter the lot, and suddenly his previous arousal was gone. He almost forgot to breathe as he saw her gracefully exit the car, grabbing her purse, pulling on her scarf and shutting the door all at the same time. His stomach began to twist as she made her way towards him. His palms were suddenly sweaty, and his mouth and throat completely dry.

"Jim. I'm really sorry I didn't call you back..." she started saying as she got closer.

"What happened? Are you ok? I was so worried. Who's car is that?" he shook his head as the questions began to tumble out of his mouth like he was a crazy person.

"Hey, Hey..." she said, placing a hand on his forearm. "I'm fine. I promise".

He just nodded, staring at her as she moved her hand up to his bicep. She smiled at him, seeing the worry lines etched into his face.

"And that car is mine. I bought it yesterday." she said grinning, her face glowing with pride.

"Really? You bought a car?"

She nodded, running her hand back down his arm so that it rested in his hand.

"That's great Pam..." he said, smiling as he saw how excited she was. She must have left Roy... why else would she have bought her own car all of a sudden...

"Jim, Pam. Will you guys hurry up and get inside." Michael called as he poked his head outside the building to where they were standing. Pam quickly ripped her hand away from his.

"Seriously Pam...the phone has been ringing and ringing and..."

"Why didn't someone answer it?" she said, cutting him off.

Michael just looked at her, and she could tell that he was probably thinking of something degrading to say back to her.

"Never mind..." she said, shaking her head and following him inside. "You coming?" she called out to Jim, seeing him still rooted to the spot.

"Yeah...um we'll talk later yeah?" he asked hopefully.

She just smiled, and nodded as she followed Michael to the elevator.

* * *

_A/N Hope your enjoying! Please let me know what you think! Hit that review button... :)_


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